Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Love will always find you & what if you’re really a lot like me?
Maybe it could be a few days, weeks or months ago but I could feel the impact which hardly I kept it to myself. An impact that makes me curious most of the time and kept thoughts that I hardly spoken. I’m definitely confident about the decision I made. Maybe the fact that I’m too young to fall in love, too young until I don’t feel comfortable being with anyone at all. That’s what I used to think. For now, I don’t wish to be in any open doors. Last few days, I’ve caught smthg special that makes me realized for who am I. I’m definitely sure that change is for the better, am not doing this for myself.
I’ve been thinking too much lately about most of the things I’m going through. There have been too much of what ifs in my mind, sometimes, I just need someone to talk to but what if that someone doesn’t understand the shit I’m talking about? At times, I do just wanna sit around, just talking, about anything that comes up to my mind. Life has been a total challenge to me lately. I know I’m not suppose to be fooling around anymore, mistakes I’ve done during the past, I never want to return back to them ever again. It strucked me, last night, while waiting. I know I shouldn’t repeat the same old mistakes, being angry, walking away just like that, not wanting to talk about it until everything is all together, so messed up. I realized that I was really at my worst at the beginning of this week. I hate the fact about myself that, sometimes I try put things together myself but I’ll just end up falling.
As for now, I’m satisfied and happy. I’ve finally faced my fears and there’s nothing better to lose. I’ve pushed out all of my needs, as it’s time for me to focus more on my career and life. Urghhhh~
Maybe it could be a few days, weeks or months ago but I could feel the impact which hardly I kept it to myself. An impact that makes me curious most of the time and kept thoughts that I hardly spoken. I’m definitely confident about the decision I made. Maybe the fact that I’m too young to fall in love, too young until I don’t feel comfortable being with anyone at all. That’s what I used to think. For now, I don’t wish to be in any open doors. Last few days, I’ve caught smthg special that makes me realized for who am I. I’m definitely sure that change is for the better, am not doing this for myself.
I’ve been thinking too much lately about most of the things I’m going through. There have been too much of what ifs in my mind, sometimes, I just need someone to talk to but what if that someone doesn’t understand the shit I’m talking about? At times, I do just wanna sit around, just talking, about anything that comes up to my mind. Life has been a total challenge to me lately. I know I’m not suppose to be fooling around anymore, mistakes I’ve done during the past, I never want to return back to them ever again. It strucked me, last night, while waiting. I know I shouldn’t repeat the same old mistakes, being angry, walking away just like that, not wanting to talk about it until everything is all together, so messed up. I realized that I was really at my worst at the beginning of this week. I hate the fact about myself that, sometimes I try put things together myself but I’ll just end up falling.
As for now, I’m satisfied and happy. I’ve finally faced my fears and there’s nothing better to lose. I’ve pushed out all of my needs, as it’s time for me to focus more on my career and life. Urghhhh~